Thursday, April 28, 2005

Satan as a Concept

Another book I read recently is called Glimpses of the Devil, by M. Scott Peck. Although there was not a lot of study material per se, it was a very interesting account of two supposed cases of demon possession. The purpose of the book is to convince the reader of at least the possibility of such supernatural concepts — demons, possession, the existence of the devil.

The accounts are quite gripping, especially early on in the book — I could hardly put the book down — but in the end I found myself less than thoroughly convinced.

The book brought to mind C.S. Lewis' concept of good and evil (bear in mind that I am paraphrasing; it has been a while since I read Lewis' works). He argues that there is no such thing as "evil" in and of itself — evil is simply a spoiling or negating of that which is good. It is similar to the concept of heat and cold; technically, there is no such thing as "cold", it is only the absence of heat.

I remember my grade-school teacher trying to explain why vacuum cleaner doesn't "suck," and getting very confused by her explanation. Now I realize that in the same way, a "vacuum" occupying an amount of volume is not an actual "thing," it is the absence of a "thing."

These could all be semantics, or a shifting of your reference point. I think the concept of the devil as a thinking, active being is difficult for me to accept. All personality is a facet of the goodness of God; if Satan is totally devoid of goodness, does it have a personality?

God Will Make a Way

I just finished the book God Will Make a Way, by Cloud and Townsend. It was a pretty quick read, I think mostly because by now I am quite familiar with most of the concepts and perspectives they bring forth. The premise of the book is to encourage the reader that when there are obstacles in our lives, there is hope because God makes a way. This book does a lot of exploring with regards to what those ways could be, over a large breadth of topics. Here are some of the points that really jumped out at me:

  • See pain as normal. As long as we keep fighting this truth, we will lose. We can continue to fight this truth and oppose God; or we can accept this truth and have room to grow.
  • Sometimes blaming can be confused with assessment, though they are quite different. Reality apportions real responsibilities to people. Refusing to recognize these responsibilities in other people for fear of the evils of "blaming" will only make true forgiveness more difficult when it is needed. The need for forgiveness itself will be difficult to recognize without investing energy into assessment.
  • When we are engaged in life, life becomes timeless. When we are disengaged however, time drags on.
  • Like nature, our situations have seasons: winter, spring, summer, fall. Each has its responsibilities and its roles — a time for resting, harvesting, preparing, discarding, etc.

Checkpoint


Roy & Tu's wedding

Well if this were a game this would be a good time to hit "save." A lot has happened in the past month or so, so here goes.

Roy and Tu got married! This is the same building in which Dave and Nancy got married last year, up in Orange County. Same crazy church lady too. I mean, just kidding; she was very nice.


Roy in the traditional Chinese wedding attire (I'm guessing)

Directly after the ceremony there was a short cake and punch reception in the courtyard outside. The invitational reception was later, actually about five hours later, so I killed some time hanging with Claire and Colin. Actually I napped; big surprise. No Halo this time...


Roderick, Kathy

Not sure exactly what Kathy's doing here. Roderick doesn't seem to mind.


Claire, Ben, Colin

Claire, Ben, Colin and I had fun passing the time away before the meal with some mind games and laser pointer pranks. When the food did come, it was incredible — ten courses! The fish eyeball was a little too much, though.

Between Ben stirring things up and Kathy's ear-piercing laughter and everybody's full stomachs, ours was certainly the loudest table at the reception. Good times.


Castles Made of Sand

The next weekend Zak and I went up to LA for a date with Nancy and Erica. We made a sand castle on a beach in Santa Monica. Zak had actually been on a blind date with Erica before, and it was just coincidence that they were setup again this time.

Later that night we ate at a restaurant called Moonshadows, where we happened to see Carl Lewis. Truth be told I never would have recognized him, were it not for Zak's keen eye. Zak asked our waiter quietly whether Carl Lewis was in the restaurant and he said, "Of course, of course" and then he went on to describe all the things that Mr. Lewis eats in order to get enough protein in his diet. The only one I remember was "sturgeon." Probably because I like the sound of that word.


Bai Yun? No, Gao Gao? I forget

On Wednesday the 20th Jill came to visit! There are more pictures here but you may not want to see them since Jill may deem them "unacceptable."

I took her to the world famous San Diego Zoo where we got to see, among other things, the (in)famous pandas Bai Yun and Gao Gao. We were lucky enough to see them at their most rambunctious. Here is the female — at the time she was tearing into this bamboo quite vigorously.


The other panda (male)

The male panda was smaller, interestingly enough. He didn't seem as active either, but probably he was just trying to stay mellow while the lady of the house was on the rampage. The lady panda, I mean.


Peacock

Did you know that peacocks can fly? That's just one thing I learned from a kind gentleman working there who sounded like he was from Australia. I guess every day around 5pm this one gets down from his perch in the tree to air out his feathers.

Peacocks are pretty freaky looking from the back, I noticed. The stalks that support their feathers kind of give me the creeps.


The Coronado bridge

The next day I took Jill to Coronado. Although we checked out the beach, we failed to notice this amazing hidden message. I guess I'll have to go back and check it out sometime.


World Famous San Diego Airport Bench

We managed to spend a few days together without killing each other! I'm quite impressed.

In other news — I finally got a new phone. I decided on a camera phone since its resolution almost matches my current dinosaur of digital camera, sheesh. Unfortunately it's not able to bend around enough to take a picture of itself. I'm not that impressed with the quality though.

Russ got a camera phone too, actually. This photo was taken by his phone at Rei do Gado, a Brazillian BBQ place downtown, where Carlos and I helped him celebrate his birthday. That place is a celebration of MEAT! Highly recommended.

This is a photo taken by my phone. Not spectacular. This quality seems especially poor in low-light conditions. In my amateur opinion.

I'm so excited; DivX is renting out a theater for Episode III, woohoo! I know, I know, Lucas has gone mad — I don't care. I have enough nostalgia stored up to make up for the 3D show, the live action television show, and another trilogy on top of that.

Okay, now to update my other blog...

Friday, March 18, 2005

Spiritual Energy

I have been thinking about the concept of spiritual energy recently. The idea of it fascinates me, especially because I seem to find myself in short supply so often. I first started to think of it a few years back when I read this:

"And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

"Who touched me?" Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."
But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me." - Luke 8:43-36

Now of course this is a very moving story of the healing power of a woman's humble faith. The detail that struck me in this case though was the fact that Jesus felt power go out from him. Please indulge my technical side when I assert that this implies some kind of noticeable differential; in other words, there is a qualitative nature to the power that Jesus describes. (The fact that Jesus is the Son of God probably also implies that this power is replenished instantaneously, but you get the point.) Anyway I don't think I thought too much of this idea at the time, but over the years I think this idea has had an influence on the way my world fits together.

At times when when I would feel tired or lonely, one supposed explanation was that I "wasn't giving enough." That perspective typically develops from conclusions drawn from the proverb "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35) and similar verses. While at the time it sounded like sage advice, there lingered the thought that there was a kind of clumsy quality to this conclusion. Even now as I read this scripture I can sense the formulaic equation itching to express itself — "If I give, I will be blessed," which easily turns into, "If I give, irrespective of my situation, I will categorically be blessed."

Anyway. I have since revised my perspective on this and tend to think of life as managing the elusive commodity of spiritual energy. All of life is spent deciding where to invest myself: time, money, attention, focus, heart. Some things will pay great dividends in the far future; others will reward earlier but not last as long. And some things simply seem to drain me without any payoff at all. Some activities require more energy than others. Some bring greater rewards than others. Ideally I will seek the activities/people/situations that encourage and foster and cultivate energy, and carefully prune those that do not.

With that perspective in mind, the proverb "It is more blessed to give than to receive" takes on new meaning to me — that is, that giving produces greater rewards in the long run than simply receiving. I believe psychologists call this "delaying gratification." And what is the ultimate gratification but Heaven?

My conundrum then becomes this — what do I do when I don't have enough energy to find those things that replenish and restore that same energy? (Answer: sleep) As the saying goes, "It takes money to make money;" isn't same be true of spiritual energy? Certainly God's abounding grace and Jesus' example give us the "down payment" we need — but there are always challenges to seeing clearly enough to be able to experience them.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

A(-)Typical Retreat

We went to San Juan Capistrano last weekend! It was a ton of fun and jam-packed with stuff to do. Here we are kicking off the day. Doesn't everyone look happy? Except maybe Eddy.

The first stop was the Ocean Institute. Well, here's the parking lot, anyway. I don't have any pictures of the inside but there were some pretty amazing jellyfish and sharks and giant lobsters. All that was caught on the video.

After the Institute, we headed to a park for lunch, which, by the way, looked a lot smaller than on the map. After eating, a few of us relaxed with a hacky-sack or a frisbee or devil sticks.

Next, we trekked on over to the Mission San Juan Capistrano.

Jason heads on over.

The mission was quite amazing — very lush and serene. Here we are figuring out how many group shots we can take before everyone goes crazy.

This is where the bells used to be. Jason found this spot to be the most peaceful.

Carlos takes a little breather in the inner courtyard. If you get him going he'll tell you all about how this courtyard is a great example of how communities should be designed.

The fountain in the middle of the courtyard held some huge koi. This was a great place to relax after a long day of being on my feet.


From the mission we had a little coffee at the shop across the street, and some decided to tour a bit more of San Juan Capistrano. It seems like it was mostly antique shops and such.

Later on we headed to the hotel and unloaded.


Here we are getting ready for a nice dinner out.

Co and Eddy engage in an interesting discussion (as usual). I believe this conversation was about biology.


Ryan approves.

After dinner we headed back to the hotel and played games into the wee hours. Thanks to Faith for being the great game maestro! Note to self: in games which require picking an arbitrary number of M&Ms, pick fewer M&Ms.

We arranged the rooms so that all the cold-blooded guys were in the same room for the sake of climate control. It was like a sauna in there! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Hey, where did this picture come from??

The next morning we had a communion service at the beach. Church included clearing the air and such, which by this point was pretty important. It was nice having everyone there and the view was gorgeous (again, you'll have to wait until it comes out on video).

After church Carlos' car headed home but the rest of us checked out lunch at a little deli nearby. Ryan wanted to get some surfing in, so we split off from there.

On the way back our car decided to take a pit-stop at the flower fields in Carlsbad. Quite a bit of it was in bloom, probably because of the recent rains. We ended off at Baskin and Robbins for a bit of ice cream to top off our trip. What a weekend!

Thanks Michelle for being the grand coordinator! Tons more pictures here, thanks to Ryan! And thanks to everyone for making it a great first retreat!

Sunday, February 27, 2005

An End To The Hiatus


Federica's going-away party

Hopefully this is an oasis in the desert of my blog. Plenty of stuff to write about and so little time. And where to start? I suppose I can use my backlog of pictures as a guide.

Well WAY back in the middle of November Federica left to go back to Italy, and she was so sweet to throw herself a going-away party for all of her new friends. She took a lot of painstaking efforts to make special gifts for people -- she made me a really cute cardboard ping-pong table with a message on the bottom. Here she's giving the mom of the family with whom she stayed a Sponge-Bob she made herself. Very impressive.


Ryan, Sofia, Tasma, Faith, and Alden listen intently

Since returning home Fede has gone to Rome for some studies and we've kept in touch over email and chat and even Skype. The internet rocks.


Chuck's 70th!

Also in November we celebrated Chuck's 70th with a nice big get-together at Eric's home in Goodyear, Arizona. We had an all around great time -- Yong was an excellent host and the food was incredible. That is, except for getting chewed out for wanting to play PS/2 with Steven. Aw, c'mon, Mom!


Goodyear, good food

Steven is my step-nephew, Brenda is Curt's girlfriend, and Kimberly is my step-niece. Steven is huge; hard to believe we're related. Oh wait we're not.


Eric, our gracious host

Tried to take Eric by surprise here.


Kenny, Eric, Christine, Yenchi, Trang
At the end of November George got engaged! I was one of the gift-bearers at the Vietnamese-style ceremony. Luckily I was the one taking the pictures here -- I don't think I look very good in a dress. The hat was pretty cool though; I think it enhanced my kung fu.


The happy groom

George nails down some final details.


Christine, Eric, me, Yenchi, Kenny, Trang

After the engagement reception we dropped by Yenchi's new venture, a quaint authentic Vietnamese cafe/restaurant. She decorated the place herself -- it was very nice and seemed to be putting the other Vietnamese place in the area out of business after only a month.


The Leongs!

Joel and Joanne got married on December 11th, 2004! The whole week was a blast; I spent some time with the folks and Linda during the week and then it was a wedding-party extravaganza over the weekend. Even the footwork was exciting -- Joel managed to get into a tiff with the Men's Wearhouse guy; I don't know how he does it. With the wedding though, there was so much family and so much love, it was quite an amazing time. And of course Halo 2 at the bachelor party was quite fulfilling.

Are fortune cookies considered witchcraft? Even if the truth of its message is undeniable? ;-)

During the reception I had a conversation with a sister about how she was feeling in her congregation and it turned out to be a great opportunity to encourage her. I shared a lot of the struggles I had in trying to put together my group and how much it was worth it in the end. It was actually a very moving conversation for me; I do hope she finds hope in her circumstances.

As if all that wasn't enough, after the reception I went with Ming to her company holiday party. Company parties are always such awkward social situations. We had a good time though.


North Carolina

I visited the McCaa's after Christmas and spent the New Year there. Nice and cold there. It was great to see Tom and Jenny and Trey doing great. I found out I really like hush puppies too. Here Tom and I were walking by the river in Wilmington.


This is for you, Campbell

To anyone with sensitivity, please disregard this photo. This is intended for Alan, Dan, and Scott. Cool eh, Campbell?

Last week there was a singles church conference in Vegas. Some 1400 singles were there, about 35 of which were from San Diego. Eddy, Dave, Rey and I rode up together on the Friday and stayed in the Alexis where the conference was being held, along with Kris. I hope Eddy's chi didn't mess me up.

There was a message on Friday night, a message, two classes, and social events on Saturday, and a church service on Sunday. Personally I got the most out of the discussion part after the message on Saturday morning. We were handed some discussion questions and encouraged to group up with 4-6 other people and discuss for a bit. Finally! I actually missed the two classes -- Rey, Tasma, Faith and I got back pretty late from lunch, missing the first class, and by that time I was wiped out so I crashed through the second class. From what I heard it doesn't sound like I missed much. Speed dating is quite a trip though. I had a good time but I don't think it's for everybody. It's pretty much like it was portrayed in the movie Hitch. It really suited me well because I had a chance to talk to a lot of people that I wouldn't ordinarily have the guts to talk to. Another nice consequence of the format is that I don't get sucked into talking one person for the whole night, which I am realizing I am prone to do. I don't think that the women typically had a very good time though. I think that is mostly related to the fact the ratio is always so bad for the women at these events. Even though the ratio within the event was 50/50, there were a lot of women who wanted to be involved but couldn't find a "buddy" to make things even. I also wish there was a time of mingling afterwards. As it was, once the final bell was rung everyone cleared out of there pretty quickly. I think everyone was probably overwhelmed after meeting some 50 people within an hour-and-a-half. I know I was pretty drained mentally.

I ran into Jill at the conference and it was so good to catch up. I also met a cool sister named Nancy and we went to breakfast on Sunday morning before church. So overall I had a really enjoyable time. The weekend ended in somewhat of a bust though; Eddy had supposedly invited about 30 people to lunch, but for whatever reason no one showed up and it ended up being just Eddy, Rey, Dave and me at -- of all places -- Hamburger Mary's. Wonderful.


Nervous, Michelle?

Fast-forward to the present. Today Michelle had her singing recital! It was lots of fun, and Michelle did great singing Sarah McLachlan's "Angel." Kids are hilarious. One girl, poor thing, made a mistake in the middle of her piano piece, stopped, and couldn't figure out where to start again. After about a minute of staring blankly at the keys, she abruptly got up and did a quick bow and left the stage. Ah, the good old days.

Last night we had our first San Diego singles devo, which the west hosted and organized. It was really impressive how many people were involved in it, actually. We had about 20 people from the west just in organizing and serving. I was really happy the way things turned out, although I thought my personal contribution to my group's skit was pretty pathetic. Plus our scripture was ridiculously hard to act out, much less guess. But anyway, at least the umpteen meetings we had putting it together really paid off. We had an "after-party" at Rock Bottom where I had a great time getting whipped on the pool table by a sister from Vancouver, Canada named Kathleen. Man, I haven't been that humbled in a long time.

Today I also had a fun phone conversation with Jill. Wake up, sluggard! ;-) Also got in a game of ultimate after two weeks off. Oh, the aches ... and I didn't even win. But it's not just about winning, it's about ... um ... wait, what else is there?


Last week was my last week with Silicon Space, Inc. It actually turned out to be more emotional than I thought it would be. Everyone there has been so appreciative of the work I've done. Now that I think about it, this is probably the job where I've felt the most appreciated so far in my career. Actually they even pleaded with me to work on Monday too, which I, being the sucker I am, couldn't refuse.

Unfortunately it was also Mike the QA guy's last week this past week too, but he wasn't planning on it. I actually didn't even get to say goodbye because he was let go Friday morning before I got in. I feel bad; he has two young kids but is himself no spring chicken. Hopefully he'll make the Personnel Logistics release party.


Me and our star performer

This Tuesday I start my new job at DivX! I'm really excited and nervous. I'm so afraid that I'll be so wiped out from ultimate Frisbee and my weekend schedule in general that I'll be nodding off through some orientation thing. Guess I shouldn't be staying up late to finish my blog, eh? Stay tuned, more deep thoughts to come. Shih out.